Claret Badger 11:18 Thu Nov 6
I keep pissing myself
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everytime, it seems, I have a piss at work - a sneaky inch or two always comes out after i've but the blade back in the scabbard
I've tried doing 2 extra shakes
I've sat and given it 15 seconds (longer than it sounds when you're standing in a public place of urinal)
and STILL a decent measure of piss will escape down to my knees
IS THIS JUST PART OF GETTING OLD? - *i'm looking at you Far Cough and Northern Sold*
or do I just stink of piss?
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
subcutaneous
11:22 Sun Nov 9
Re: I keep pissing myself
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CB,
Have you got a life insurance policy with a critical illness element included?
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Claret Badger
11:10 Sun Nov 9
Re: I keep pissing myself
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I am pissing more than I used too
I blame the increase in coffee consumption
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gph
12:14 Sat Nov 8
Re: I keep pissing myself
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This only happens at work?
Everyone is on the wrong track - it must be psychological.
Why your subconscious wants you to appear before your colleagues with a moist crotch is beyond me, though
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Mex Martillo
10:06 Sat Nov 8
Re: I keep pissing myself
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P R O S T A T E
As northern said
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Nicey
9:34 Sat Nov 8
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Don't use your fly but instead open your whole waistband and get the old boy and griffin chins fully out.
When done run your index finger from the base of the griffin chins forward until your pebbles are quite compacted, the last splashes should come out.
It is preferable to do this at a urinal in a busy tiolets and name a "ahhhhhh" noise as you do.
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stomper
1:58 Sat Nov 8
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Electric Retro-pants
Thats what Stephen Fry said on QI!
Could be kidney cancer. You'll find out if it is. The next stage is pissing blood.
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Electric Retro-pants
10:19 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Try milking the old chap. It's not wanking. Not for the first minute anyway.
"What is the milking technique for preventing dribble?
Wait a few seconds after passing urine for the bladder to empty completely. Place the fingertips of one hand under the scrotum (approximately three finger-breadths) and apply gentle upward pressure. Keep the pressure on the midline and firmly move the fingers forward towards the base of the penis under the scrotum. This milks urine forward in the urethra where it can be emptied by shaking or squeezing in the usual way. Repeat this technique twice to ensure complete emptying. This whole procedure should take no more than a few seconds. "
http://www.everybody.co.nz/page-774f6006-ff33-4832-82b9-e4b56f85d659.aspx
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Mrs Wilberforce
10:01 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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It's the Doctors for you old sausage!
Hopefully it's just an Enlarged Prostrate but it's something that needs checking.
Even though I trade under the name Mrs Wilberforce I am a Geezer and earlier this year, after similar symptoms, I saw the doctor who sent me for a bunch of tests to make sure I didn't have Prostrate/Bladder cancer.
I was clear and you need to make sure that you are.
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worm
2:36 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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you need to have a tidy up if your pubes are obstructing your piss hole.
Or you have a tiny cock.
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MrCrowmanSir
2:33 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Only time I ever piss on myself is when I've had a stray pube over the japs eye causing a split piss.
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Willtell
2:31 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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I had no problems in the dripping stakes until recently. I worked it out that the base of the zip in my new jeans was too high and created my own 'u' bend in my penis by rising over the zip base and then downwards.
In those jeans I have to undo the waistband and let it all flow naturally....
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CryBabies
2:31 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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UTI
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147man
2:23 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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As my old Dad used to say
"No matter how hard you shake your peg, the last drip always goes down your leg"
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Alwaysaniron
1:06 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Claret Badger 11:18 Thu Nov 6
A WHO gold thread
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Off The Shin
1:04 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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I used to check my dads prostate for him , every birthday from the age of 8. He didn't trust a doctor to do it properly he used to say.
Even after he died I'd still dig him up each year and do my duty, for old times sake.
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Off The Shin
12:59 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Lily Hammer wrote...
Re: I keep pissing myself
Off The Shin = Cliff Richard
I'd eat that cunt for breakfast...if someone paid me to.
I am available for childrens parties should anyone wish to book.
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Bullet
12:37 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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*Passes orange to Morley*
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ooooh Morley Morley
12:27 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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Sometimes i check my own prostate
With a belt around my neck.
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Northern Sold
11:49 Fri Nov 7
Re: I keep pissing myself
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P R O S T A T E
Get it checked son... got mine done last year... RIGHT OL' FUCKIN' LAUGH... especially the biopsy and then the Blocked bladder... I was laughing my tits off !!!!
Anyway results came back I was cool... so all's well...
but in all seriousness.... get checked
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